His eyes are softly closed; his steady breathing rises his chest, I can feel it gently heaving in the dark. The sound of the ceiling fan whirs above our heads as I gently kiss his forehead and leave the room. Leaving his bedroom door slightly ajar, to let in a little light. 

I walk softly up the hallway to our kitchen, on top of the fridge i pull down a packet of pills and a bright yellow plastic container. I open the fridge, snap a syringe from the pack and grab my other packet of pills and sit them on the bench. 

The water rushing from the tap breaks the silence, as I fill up a glass and a take a deep breath. 

The two pills are swallowed together, I’ve never been very good with pills but these are small and round and fall easily down my throat.

I carefully remove the syringe from the packet, and pop off the cap. My hand shakes as I pinch a generous amount skin on my stomach. Another deep breath. And again. Breathe. 

The syringe end feels cold against my skin. One last breath as i insert the needle into my body, I countdown from 10 as I use my thumb to push the plunger down, to distract myself from the sting. 

The syringe is removed, the stinging continues for 5minutes or so. I glance down and sigh in relief, no bruise. The syringe is placed into the bright yellow container, and tucked away from curious minds & curiouser fingers. 

Another night done .

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